Zombie Kitty

• I'm drinking a 3/4 sweet soy salted caramel hot chocolate.  Yes, I am one of THOSE Starbucks customers.  

• Sadly, I think hiking season has come to an end.  Snow camping anyone?

• In the past 72 hours I have slept a total of 32 hours.  My bed time is 8pm and yes I am aware that five year olds stay up later than I do.  

• If you think you've had a bad day, wait until you hear about Butter's day.  Due to a fight induced puncture wound, he got his face shaved and drained by the vet.  We call him Zombie Kitty

"BRAINS!!!!"

10 things you probably didn't need to know, but I'm telling you anyways

10.  I haven't eaten a banana all week, so my body has started shutting down.  I went to the Chinese market to remedy the situation, and I bought a bushel (is that how you describe a group of bananas).  I have already eaten three of them...along with half a tub of peanut butter.

Side note: Every time we grocery shop at Haggen, we buy about 40 bananas, and every time the checker (the cute blonde one we always go to) says, "you guys and your bananas!"  Sometimes we will buy a bunch of another random fruit, just so we can see what she says.  Last week it was, "what?!  No bananas!"

9.  I went swimming (real lap swimming, not just dicking around in the pool swimming) two days ago, and I am still sore!

8. I am mad obsessed with Flo Rida right now.  As I am typing this I am listening to Run.  I can't stop cracking up at how dumb the video is.  Lowest budget video ever.

7.  I made a friend yesterday while I was sitting outside studying.  Her name is Ingrid and she is a little brown bird.  She was so freaking cute.  She was about 4 inches tall and she sat on the bench next to me for about 20 minutes before she moved down to the ground and sat next to my feet for another 20 minutes.  Every once in awhile she would cock her head to the side and peer into my soul. 

   

Side note: A year ago you would have never found me spending the afternoon sitting next to a bird.  I would have ran away screaming, but ever since we bought chickens I have a new-found love of birds.  I really want a pet bird...

6.  I am in love with this little boy.  I want ten just like him.

5.  I'm not drinking anymore.  I know 99.9% of the people reading this just started laughing, but I am serious.  I have been drinking for 9(+) years I still haven't learned that I shouldn't drink 5 beers and then wash them down with 2 shots of tequila.  I don't think I will ever learn.

4.  Do you need a new blog to read?  Read this one  crappypictures.com

3.  My X-men power is the ability to smell the change in season.  Fall is coming.  You have all been warned.

Side note: Mike's X-men power is the ability to injure your internal organs through hugging.  After you are wrapped in his cozy bear arms, he proceeds to push his belly out so far and so hard that it causes internal damage.  

2. Which one of these text messages is real:

"It is official...she poops giant rainbows and headbands with flowers. Barf"
"Remember when Duke was eating something in the bushes yesterday...that was where I puked"
"It's going clear!  Unz Unz Unz (butt pounding techno beat)"

Trick question, all three are real.  If we aren't texting friends yet, you are missing out.

1.  Here is a cat picture oozing with cuteness. You're welcome.

It's not just the humans

Mike and I have a really big heart when it comes to animals, therefore we have a houseful of them.

Three Dogs: Duke, Rosie (sister's dog) and Buddy

Two cats: Skootz and Butters

Two chickens: Juice Box and Winnie

A school of fish (not pictured, due to their lack of names and inability to look cute in pictures).

Future plans include adding two goats, three more chickens and a pig to the mix.  Caring for animals is a giant pain in the ass, but try saying no to this face.

Baby Duke

I know, right?  I would have taken home the entire litter of twelve if I could.

I can say with confidence that Duke is more hardcore than the average dog.  When he was six months old he chased after me while I was riding on a bike and he bit at the spokes of the bike tire.  This "fun game" broke the roof of his mouth, resulting in a set of horizontal front teeth.  Duke stopped for a second, shook his head spraying blood everywhere, and then he ran across the yard to get his ball.  That dog loves his ball.

Buddy (the oldest member of the family) provides a special touch of awkwardness to the dog pack.  Here he is after submerging half of his body into a freshly dug up mole hill.  Buddy, like all members of our family, hates moles.

Their new best friend is Rosie.  She is not the smartest canine, but she has a big heart.  She has recently learned how to follow the big dogs when they play catch, and bark at everything that moves, including falling leaves.  I'm not looking forward to fall.     

Skootz is a hardcore hunter.  He is a fierce powerhouse that will hunt and catch anything that strikes his fancy.  The list includes, but is not limited to: birds, rabbits (full sized and baby), moles, rats, mice, shrews, snakes, moths, frogs and squirrels.  He is also hardcore lazy.  After a night of hunting and binging on rabbit, he crawled up to the top of his palace and slept for about 12 hours.  When he woke up, he was too lazy to go outside, so he just leaned over the side of the cat palace to purge.  He is also very conscious about his figure.  

When Tyra says fierce you give her fierce

Butters takes awkward to a whole new level.  That cat is just plain creepy, we are talking horror film kind of stuff.  I can't tell you how many times I have walked around the corner to find Butters just sitting in the middle of the room staring at me.

Case in point:

Mike and I walk out the backdoor and surveyed the yard, but something in the snowball tree made us stop and look closer.

What is that little orange spot in the tree you ask?  Oh yeah, that is our creepy-ass cat, awkwardly perched in the tree starring at us.

I WISH I had some awkward chicken pictures.  Like one of Juice Box pooping all over Mike when he tried to put her back in her yard (true story).  Instead I have an egg picture.  Can you tell which eggs were bought at the store, and which egg came from Juice Box?  

  

The difference isn't only in the color and size.  Juice Box and Winnie eggs also taste 1000 times better, but unfortunately those lazy bitches have only been laying about one egg per week.  Time to get more chickens!  

It's not all about the mountains

The great thing about being hardcore is that you can be hardcore in anything...not just in climbing mountains.

2012 is the year of hardcore balls-out gardening; if you are going to garden, you might as well go balls-out.  We have two mighty rows of random vegetables: one snap pea, two broccoli, two brussel sprouts, one eggplant, one cucumber, two zucchini, and one PUMPKIN.  Special emphasis on the plant that has decided to take over the garden.

"Oh, I have all this room on the right side...?  I think I'll grow straight towards the f#cking peas!  What an a$$hole" - Mike Griffith  (he is very passionate about gardening)

Those poor little f#cking peas are getting smashed into the fence designed to keep out bunnies and chickens.

This adorable moment is brought to you by Butters.

Caption contest:

"I'll never let go, Jack.  I promise"

"If only I was a cat and I could jump over a 2 ft fence..."

"I'm not touching you, I'm not touching you"

"Rawr, bad kitty"

"The grass is so much greener on the other side of the fence"